Juicy Bits 2016
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A Pause
July 2016 to September 2017
I'd been feeling unwell and not quite recovering from a severe bout of flu in December 2015. Dry cough, shortness of breath, intermittent 100F fevers. Many trips
to my PCP, X-rays, an ENT specialist. All through that time I soldiered on. Travelling six times! Yes SIX! What was I thinking!? In January a trip to California to
see my mother. In February, a long-awaited 40th wedding anniversary vacation with all the family. In March a road trip to Philadelphia for a friend's bridal shower.
In April to Las Vegas for an ACIM/ACOL conference, and in May to Barbados for that same friend's wedding. In June we had house guests from Arizona, and by the 30th
when my precious granddaughter Aurora arrived, I was having chest pressure, difficulty breathing, constriction swallowing, and serious brain fog. Things rapidly went
downhill from there. In July I lost my health insurance when Colin went onto Medicare. And due to a partially informed decision made in a haze of fear and haste, with
a little help from errors made by the Massachusetts Health Connector, I lost my health insurance. Tears arise as I remember that time. A dark and stormy time of feeling
alone and helpless. Beaten down by six months of pushing myself to be everything to everyone except to myself. You can read the story of the next three months August
through October 2017 here in White Hawks.
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Facing Fear
June 27, 2016
“… fear is a multi-dimensional creature that requires a multi-dimensional response. It can't be contained to a simple meme or a singular response.
Diminishing the complexity of fear can have devastating results. Now, not only is there still the fear, but there is also accompanying shame of being unable to
address fears the way the prescribed. There are at least four kinds of fear that I have encountered in many conversations and much research.
--✿ Warning fear. This is the legitimate fear that shows up to tell us that a course correction is necessary in order to avoid injury or harm. It's the kind of
fear that makes sure we don't climb into the lion's cage at the zoo, and it's the quick-reaction fear that tells us to swerve out of the way when a car is headed
straight at us. It's also the fear that nudges us out of bad relationships or bad business deals. This fear serves as a valuable protector and shouldn't just
be “kicked to the curb.”
--✿ Ego fear. This is the kind of fear whose job is to keep our fragile egos safe at all costs. It's the fear that tells us to stay small, to not ask for too much,
to avoid shaming ourselves. It's also the fear that tells us to protect ourselves from people who don't look like us or who don't share our belief systems. This is
the most slippery of the fears. It's hard to pin down and it's got a million ways to lie to us. This fear needs to be examined and deconstructed so that it doesn't control us.
--✿ Trauma fear. Trauma has a way of embedding fear so deeply into our bodies that we can barely understand it or control it, let alone conquer it with a few tips
from a self-help book. Trauma changes us so fundamentally, that it's been known to alter not only our DNA, but the DNA we pass down to our children. Some of our trauma
fear has, unbeknownst to us, been inherited from generations before us. Trauma fears are often irrational and can flare up at the slightest trigger, causing a fight,
flight, or freeze reaction that nobody who's witnessing it can understand … seek out the right expert who can provide support, tools, body exercises, etc. to help you
understand and cope with the long-term impact of the trauma.
--✿ Invitational fear. Sometimes, what feels like fear, is actually a message from our bodies that we are on the right track, that we are about to step into something
important and life-changing. It's an invitation rather than a warning. This is the kind of fear we befriend, because it leads us into our right work, art, relationships, etc..
So… how can you tell which kind of fear is showing up for you? There is no simple answer to that. Instead, there's a life-long practice of mindfulness, discernment,
and experimentation. Be quiet. Pay attention to your body. Ask what the fear is trying to protect you from. Ask whether you can and/or should survive whatever your
fear is trying to protect you from. Consider whether you need outside help addressing the fear. Seek out what's best for you and do the work that heals you
and makes you stronger.” — Heather Plett
♥ Breathe ♥ Listen in ♥ Trust Yourself ♥
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Are You Unstoppable?
June 24, 2016
Found this amazing guy! Clear, concise, precise! Like CoCreating Clarity, he says “Trust Yourself”! He's just so much more PUNCHY about it than I am!
You'll love his message. Enjoy! With love <3
“When you're unstoppable, you will make sure to get what you want. Everything you need to know is already within you. All you need to do is trust
yourself and act. Are you unstoppable?” — Ben Hardy
- Don't think — know and act.
- Always be prepared so you have the freedom to act on instinct.
- Don't be motivated by money or anything external.
- Never be satisfied.
- Always be in control.
- Be true to yourself.
- Never let off the pressure.
- Don't be afraid of the consequences of failure.
- Don't compete with others. Make them compete with you.
- Never stop learning.
- Success isn't’ enough — it only increases the pressure.
- Don't get crushed by success.
- Completely own it when you screw up.
- Let your work speak for itself.
- Always work on your mental strength.
- Confidence is your greatest asset.
- Surround yourself with people who remind you of the future, not the past.
- Let things go, but never forget.
- have clear goals.
- Respond immediately, rather than analyzing or stalling.
- Choose simplicity over complication.
- never be jealous or envious of someone else's accomplishments.
- Take a shot every time.
- Don't get caught up in the results of success. Always remain focused on what got you those results: the work.
- Think and act 10X
- Set goals that far exceed your capabilities.
- Make time for recovery and rejuvenation.
- Start before you're ready.
- If you need permission, you probably shouldn't do it.
- Don't make exceptions.
♥ Breathe ♥ Listen in ♥ Trust Yourself ♥
Read Ben's post “30 Behaviors That Will Make You Unstoppable”
https://medium.com/…/30-behaviors-that-will-make-you-unstop…
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To Quit or Not to Quit?
May 27, 2016
“Wanting to quit is okay … We all do. No matter how set on our paths and our lives we are, we all want to quit every now and then. Because we're humans, and like I
always say — humans are beautiful, but we suck at remembering it …” — Jon Westenberg
“And you said, Be still, my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in …
Just be here now
Forget about the past
Your mask is wearing thin …
I'm waiting for my real life to begin”
— Colin Hay
How to navigate this paradox?
The one way I know — that works!
Staying open and willing, Come Home to your Self —
http://cocreatingclarity.com/centering.htm
♥ Breathe ♥ Listen in ♥ Trust Yourself ♥
Read Jon Westenberg's heartfelt Blog post here —
https://medium.com/l…/i-want-to-quit-right-now-beadc6f971b9…
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Faking It or Being Vulnerable?
May 18, 2016
Read what one Silicon Valley ex-CEO has to say.
“The problem with faking it is that you miss out on the opportunity to be helped and to help others … one of the biggest reasons we “fake it” is because
we are scared of what the world will think of us … Faking it doesn't change the reality of any situation; it only leaves you and others feeling even more alone. But there's
a different option ... rarely seen in our “success breeds success” world — being brutally vulnerable ... faking success when you aren't experiencing it or
acting cooler-than doesn't inspire those around you — it isolates them. … if only one person sees me struggle and feels less alone or is encouraged that they too will make
it through… it's 100% worth it.” — Maren Kate
https://medium.com/…/silicon-valley-has-a-vulnerability-pro…
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Resilience
May 16, 2016
“After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that there are three P's—personalization, pervasiveness,
and permanence — that are critical to how we bounce back from hardship. The seeds of resilience are planted in the way we process the negative events in our lives.” — Sheryl Sandberg
When something goes wrong today notice if/how you get stuck —
--✿ Do you blame yourself?
--✿ Do you let everything now feel awful?
--✿ Do you tell yourself this will last forever?
And get yourself unstuck — open to infinite possibilities —
--✿ Accept it happened. Focus on what next.
--✿ Firewall it. Remember all the good stuff.
--✿ Time-bound it. Life is movement and change.
Read Sheryl Sandberg's UC Berkeley's commencement speech.
http://fortune.com/2016/…/14/sandberg-uc-berkley-transcript/
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On Being Authentic
April 29, 2016
Authenticity comes from lived and deeply felt EXPERIENCE. When you've LIVED it and FELT it, you know there is no need to doubt that what you're saying is worth saying.
It is the TRUTH of your experience, and it will resonate with others.
That's Authenticity!
♥ Breathe ♥ Listen in ♥ Trust Yourself ♥
“If you can sit around a table at a dinner table and just talk to people about what you've done, then you can give a talk. The best modern talks are
conversational. You don't have to be an orator. You just have to say something in an authentic way. The key is to have something worth saying.” — Chris Anderson, Curator of TED talks
http://www.cbs.com/…/4dcTaZ…/behind-the-appeal-of-ted-talks/
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Choosing Must over Should
April 15, 2016
“Should is how others want us to show up in the world — how we're supposed to think, what we ought to say, what we should or shouldn't do. It's the vast array
of expectations that others layer upon us. When we choose Should the journey is smooth, the risk is small. Must is different—there aren't options and we don't have a choice.
Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self ... we are listening to our calling from within, from some luminous, mysterious place." — Elle Luna
--✿What if who we are and what we do are one and the same?
--✿What if our jobs are our careers and our callings?
--✿What if what we do is an expression of who we are?
--✿What if we know with certainty this is what we're meant to do?
--✿What if we chose Must over Should each moment of the day?
--✿What would happen if we did?
--✿Why don't we trust ourselves to know the difference?
--✿What are we most afraid of?
♥ Breathe ♥ Listen in ♥ Trust Yourself ♥
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Take the Next Step
March 28, 2016
Are you feeling stuck, in your life, at work, in a project, in general? Pay close attention to your frustrations. Notice where you get irritated, annoyed — when
and with whom. And you'll find that you're waiting — for someone to act, or for something to change. Pause and ask yourself:
--✿Why are you waiting?
--✿Who are you waiting for?
--✿What is it that they can give to you?
--✿What event are you waiting for?
--✿What will it provide to you?
--✿What answers are you seeking?
--✿Who can give you answers?
--✿What will you do with these answers?
--✿What is missing?
Wait for no one.
Only for yourself to be ready to take that next step.
Only you know what that is.
And only you can do it.
♥ Breathe ♥ Listen in ♥ Trust Yourself ♥
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Discover 2016
January 4, 2016
CoCreating Clarity means living a continuous cycle of Awareness, Discovery, Choice, and Action. Few of us manage to remain fully present and sustain our awareness
of the newness of each moment. Try these three questions to return the adventure and delight of discovery into your life and work, and cocreate the new in 2016.
When it appears that decision-making, planning, or action are called for, simply pause and ask:
--✿What might this situation look like if I forgot everything I have previously known about similar situations, and looked at this in a new way?
--✿Do I really need to worry about this situation, or can I affect this situation simply by not worrying about it and allowing it to be and unfold as it will?
--✿While I realize that the facts would tell me this or that is true, I wonder what would happen if I disregarded the facts and was open to this being something else?
(‘A Course of Love’ D:14.5)
♥ Breathe ♥ Listen in ♥ Trust Yourself ♥
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